Dear Diary,
(14th October 2010)
HERE COMES SENTOSA!!!
Oh my. It's awesome! Another day out with my lovely boyfriend, sister and sister's boyfriend. HAHAHHAA! I say until so specific right? :O Orgay...So we met at Vivo and then OFF to SAND-TOE-SA!
Took the tram ride to Palawan Beach! Whoohooo~ The weather was "splendid".. My skin totally turned from white to reddish. -.- But the 3 of them were still fine except for me! Why? Why? Why?! Hahhahahah! I don't intend to soak myself 100% in the saltish seawater but.. I was "forced" to. Nah! Just kidding! LOL! My boyf. and I was so tempted by "that couple" plus the weather is TOO AMAZING=Hot. So yeah, in the end, we both went in and have a taste of the 200%(seemed to be) salt. *Yuck*
From waddling in the water to getting wet all over. Since I'm already so dirty, I don't mind making it more dirty. It's SAND-TOE-SA time!
I was covered with SAND from my legs, hands, body to TOE and it went SA-SA-SA into my friggin' mouth all thanks to the 3 who played a part.. *Laughs!* It was so-much-fun! Although my butt was itching with sands... My eyes hurts whenever the seawater touches... I felt sucky whenever I can't hit the volleyball properly... I felt even sucky when the volleyball hits me...(HAHHAHAHA) BUT, it was still lots of fun~ *Smiles*
We kept eating, drinking and then back to the water. How relaxing!
Though my wish for this year is to get out of SG for a break, but, as I imagined myself in Maldives/Redang Island, I felt equally calmed and relaxed even when I'm actually just at... Sentosa... (=
After Sentosa, we showered and off we go back to the East! ;D
We caught this movie by my idol, Rainie Yang!
"童眼 3D" It wasn't as scary as how I thought it would be. But, I think it's quite worth watching as my idol is in it! HAHHAHAHHA! ;P
So yeap! That's about my FUN-tas-tic day @ Sentosa!
Now, I hate my tanned skin. But I guess it's worth it. ):
(15th October 2010)
A day rest at home.
It wasn't all that perfect. Read some stuffs that I think I shouldn't have read. Did some things that I shouldn't have done. What is going on in my head? I've often remind myself to
forget the past. But, why the hell am I still affected? After reading what I feel I should not have read, I felt very dejected and sad. I feel so "flat on the ground" as if I'm stepped on by people again and again yet all I can do is to stay put and not retaliate. Maybe, only Time can help me. But, I'm just one impatient soul who can't wait to get out of my own safety zone. This kinda feeling really sucks.
"I can't wait but I have to be patient; To persevere, try and wait."
From their eyes I see, words they speak, actions they showed.. This-is-how-they-looked-at-me. One word to describe, "Despise". They can hurt me just by simple words and actions. Does this show how weak I am or how powerful their words can be? Genuine is never genuine. Fake is never fake. True is never true. False is never false. Is this how the world is like now? People who met you just once or twice can seem to blabber infinite words about you as if they've known you for years. Everything is totally the opposite of what/how it appears to be. Or rather, everything is totally the opposite of "how I see it"...
I'll never forget how my ex boyfriend's parents treated me.. the way they looked at me.. the way they insult me.. I'll never forget how I'm treat like junk when I gave my best to someone I thought could be trusted... I'll never forget how much my parents suffer with me for these 3 years... I'll never forget how my parents try to cover up this "illness" for me whenever people asked "Is your daughter studying/working?"... I'll never forget how people look at me in the eye, the way they despise me.......
I will never ever ever forget the scar on my left arm....! NEVER EVER forget the ordeals I've been thru for the passed 3 years till now! The crucial moments before I sunk into depression... till the day where I've fallen into this pitch dark world... to this day where I gotta face so much rejections, criticizes and insults..!!!
Tears just simply appears right at the edge of my eyes whenever I think of all those above... Why must I be treated like this when all I did was, to give my best...?
Every day and night, I tell myself, NOT TO LET OTHERS STEP ON ME EVER AGAIN. Often I got the urge to bash up all those who look down on me. I can barely control that I started punching the wall, pillows and whatever that's infront of me. This feeling sucks a lot. Really... );
Alycia believes in what she believed. My mum, dad, ganMummy.. They all believe in me. And I believe in them. So since I believe in them and they believe in me, I should continue believing and persevering... (=
Even though it hurts,
Even if I've to crawl,
I'll still crawl until I reach the very end...
I am strong! ;P